I'll never be the same

It's been quite some time since I've typed words into this blog. I think it's about time I share what has been going on in my life the past couple of months.

A lot has changed in my life in the past 2 years. More than I ever thought could be possible. I have gone from a fitness enthusiast, obsessed with the lifestyle that changed my outer appearance and broke my inner self. I have been struggling with hip issues for the past year, 4 months and 26 days. It has been an extremely rough road. If you go back to some previous blog posts, you can get an idea of what exactly has happened in the past year and a bit. For those of you who do already know what's going on, I'm not going to rehash it all.

This past week I went to Salt Lake City, Utah. I met with a surgeon who specializes in hip dysplasia in young adults and finally received a diagnosis after almost a year and a half of a surgery, acupuncture, physical therapy, complete lifestyle change, giving up dreams and very little answers. It turns out that I have shallow sockets and my femur bone isn't fitting right into the socket so my hip is rubbing up against my cartilage and damaging it as well as other parts of the hip. I have decided after much thought and research to go through the Peri-Acetabular Osteotomy (PAO for short.) Here's a link with an ANIMATED video of the surgery process: Animated PAO surgery
I will be having the surgery on December 19th of this year and will stay in Utah for 2-5 days after surgery.  It is possible that I will eventually have to have my left hip operated on as well, since more often than not the hips are mirror images of each other.

If you don't want to watch the animation, here is a picture of what will be done:

I have been doing a lot of thinking since the appointment with the surgeon and after all the research I've done, I have to get a lot off my chest. Since high school track, I have been an extremely active person. I have never thought much about the long term effects on my body from the lifestyle I was living. All I really cared about was the short term and how "great" I could look. Well let me tell you, if I could tell my young self one thing it would be, STOP! Stop damaging your body, it's the only one you have. Most of the females that have the same problem that I do were athletes, since youth. There are many young ladies who are 15 and are dealing with the same issues that I am. I know that from a young age we are pushed to exercise and look a certain way, especially as females, but at what cost. I'm not saying that everyone will have hip issues when they reach their teens or 20's, but eventually the body will suffer from the years of damage we put it through. There are tons of ways to exercise that aren't damaging to the body long term. Moderation is always key, with many things in life.

I have learned so many things through this process. I have learned that I have more mental strength than I ever did physically. I have learned how important the people in my support system are, my amazing parents, my beautiful sister, my wonderful, loving boyfriend, my family in England, my awesome grandpa, and some very close friends. I have learned that there is so much in life than what you look like. I have learned that God will always get me through, no matter how heavy the load.

Someday I will be past all of this and I hope to appreciate all that I have learned. It has made me stronger and appreciate so many things in life. I will be updating throughout this journey and I hope that I can be helpful to someone, I wish someone could have helped me through this process.

Thank you for reading :)