Years of transitioning

It's been a while since I've posted a blog, mostly because I don't have much to talk about. Almost six weeks ago I had my left PAO surgery and have been focusing on recovering from that and not much else has been going on. I've had to work pretty hard on staying positive and not completely breaking down throughout this process. I have been through two major hip surgeries in two years as well as having to completely revamp my life. Every time I go to the doctor after not seeing them for a while they mention what I told them I was hoping to work towards after recovering and it has changed almost every visit. When I was first diagnosed with hip dysplasia, I was still hanging onto the dream of being a personal trainer and changing people's lives and going into the Air Force; I'm going a new direction now. This year I'm going to be moving to New York with my boyfriend, finishing my degree in Sociology with a pathway in Criminal Justice and hopefully start a career out there. I can't help but feel like I'm a prisoner in my own body, my mind and soul are so ready to start life and hit the ground running but my body hasn't cooperated over the past three or four years.

I have a lot I want to achieve and I can't help but feel behind at 24, almost 25. I know I'll get there, it's only a matter of time, but at the moment it's a hard pill to swallow that all I can focus on is recovering. I also feel that people are bored of what I'm going through, hell I'm bored of what I'm going through, I'm sick of talking about the process of the last few years. Maybe it's my perception and I don't want to put people through hearing about my hips anymore, but I feel isolated. Kind of like when you grow apart from a group of friends because you have different interests well hip dysplasia isn't an interest of mine, it's my reality. It has become my main focus over the past few years and when you have constant pain it's hard to not let it control you.

I guess all that I'm trying to say is I can't wait to look back on all of this a few years from now and smile because I am out of the darkness and finally able to see some light.