Minutes in my shoes

Let's flash back to about a year ago. Life through Bridget's eyes was beautiful, everything was going in the right direction. Of course there were always improvements to be made, but things were going pretty good. Working as a personal trainer, in tip top physical shape, single, great friends, great relationships with most people around me. Nothing was stopping me. I spent every second I could in the gym, because I thought I loved the lifestyle, things were working for me.

Pan camera to my life now.

Jobless, out of the gym for 2 months now. Lost.

Let's sum up what my issue is right now.

I have had a hip pain for about 4 months now, I didn't know what was causing it, for about a month a chose to ignore it and push forward, until it started hindering my work outs. I went to the doctor and was told to rest and ibuprofen. Hmm, ok.
That wasn't good enough for me, so I decided to see an orthopedic doctor, he told me he didn't know what was wrong, that I needed to get an X-ray, so I got an X-ray.. next appointment: Bridget has a fractured bone in her hip... O shit, ok NO more lower body work, including cardio.
Wait 6 weeks to get a follow up X-Ray to see if there is any healing in the hip whatsoever, new X-ray shows NO healing, Dr calls me and tells me I need to get an MRI. (During this time I spent 4 weeks in physical therapy where they were doing exercises with me that I did to initially hurt myself. So I stopped going, because $50 a session, 2 a week, and no progress, SEE YA!)
Schedule MRI and wait for a new appointment. Next appointment original doctor comes in WITH a sports specific physical therapist. There is no sign of anything on that MRI- didn't receive a radiology report or any diagnosis whatsoever.
Screw this, I thought. So I scheduled with a hip specialist in SANTA FE. Drove up for the initial appointment, he tells me we won't know ANYTHING until I get a contrasting MRI.
Schedule arthrogram (contrasting MRI) Drive back up to santa fe a week later and receive an arthrogram (2 needles inserted into my hip joint to put dye, pain reliever and a numbing agent) MRI done..
See a doctor at NM orthopedics who tells me that the MRI doesn't show a significant enough of a tear in my hip cartilage to take any extreme measures, so I'm directed to continue physical therapy. Last resort is surgery. I told him I AM AT LAST RESORT. Scheduled surgery for December.
See my Dr in Santa Fe for a second opinion, decides he is not a specialist in hips specifically so directs me to see another dr at NM Orthopedics, who is NOT the doctor I saw who I scheduled surgery with. The Dr I was referred to does not take my health insurance..
I am now at a stand still.

In pain on a daily basis, unable to do much of anything.

If you have an opinion on what I should do to fix this problem, I appreciate it, but I don't want to hear it. I am doing the best I can to be as positive as I possibly can. But if you know me, you know I am a physical person, I am being limited from working, joining the military, working out, EVERYTHING.

I am pissed, to say the least.

Rawr.

I made this blog post about a year ago and thought it would be important to include this so people understand and can get a glimpse of my journey. As you can see from reading this post I was extremely lost and at a stand still. I had no idea what was causing my pain and was so fed up with medical professionals who were supposed to be able to help me. Reflecting back on this post, it's hard to realize that I went through all that and am where I'm at now. If you haven't been keeping up with my journey, I was finally diagnosed with hip dysplasia and have gone through a reconstructive hip surgery for my right hip and in just 2 short weeks I will be going through my left surgery so I am almost (fingers crossed) on the other side of it all, but dang what a few years it's been. My dad went in for a routine health procedure the other day and after seeing him coming out of anesthesia and taking care of him it was a huge wake up call for me; I'm 24 years old, I am going through surgeries where my pelvis is literally broken so that it can heal properly, it's so surreal when I really think about it. My dad, in his fragile drugged state cried when he thought about what I've been through and what I'll go through. It touched my heart, because I don't think I even realize how somewhat callused I've become to it all. After dealing with this for almost 2.5 years it's become my life, pain is normal for me now. 

Somedays I am grateful for all of this, because there are quite a few good things that have come out of it and other days I am just pissed off, but don't wanna be that person who uses their ailment as an excuse when there are amputees breaking records, people with cancer doing amazing things and here I am with some messed up hips feeling sorry for myself. The bottom line is I need to buck up and realize that even though my situation is not ideal, it will improve. The future is not a guaranteed happily ever after, but no ones is. We do the best we can with the hand we're dealt. Leading up to this surgery I'm going to finish this semester strong, work hard to gain some weight because I'm sure to lose it during the process and then get through the surgery. After that, I will be ready to take on my world. I am lucky that I've been given the opportunities and resources to take care of this, because others are not so fortunate and my heart goes out to you all. Do the best you can and never give up. 

Lots of love 

B